Mommy, What's Your Business?

As they have grown, my girls have always seen me working.

First, I worked for a big hotel company as a corporate trainer in revenue management. Half of the time I worked from home, half of the time I worked in various hotels around the country. If I was home they were small enough to not even realize I was there, I was in my office on the 3rd floor, they were with the nanny on the main floor.

If I was in a hotel, they often came to visit at some point during the week. People that did not know me knew of my children. They always wanted to meet the quads, and having them come visit, helped me alleviate my working mommy guilt. They even came with me on several trips out of town, allowing me the privilege of taking my kids to Disney and a luxury beach resort before they were two.

Later, after a layoff, I started my own business and pretty much work all the time if I am home. Admittedly, I probably work too much. The girls watch me take people's pictures and make them into photo books. They think it is fun to watch me change the color of a background, or "magic" people's eyes open. And when a new book is delivered, they are amazed that the pictures they saw on my computer are now in a book.

Recently, my daughter Hannah came up to my desk and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was working. She asked me if I was making a book and I said yes. She then asked her favorite question, "Why?" I told her because that was what my company is, I turn pictures into books. She simply said, "Oh,ok" and went back to playing with her princess dolls on the floor next to me.

A few days later she asked me about one of her friends moms. "Mommy, what is Mrs. X's company?" I told her she did not have one. To which she asked "Why?" I responded that some mommies don't have companies. Again, her favorite question, "Why?" It took me a while to come up with an answer that I did not offend myself with or scare her for life with. "Well, that's just the way it is," was the best I could come up with.

"Not when I am a growing up, I will be a Dr. and have a company" she stated matter of factly. And that is seems was the end of that.

While it is a cute story, it was a big moment for me. I worry all the time about working or not working and it is an internal struggle for me almost daily. As it is for a lot of mothers on both sides of the situation. The working mom vs. stay at home mom is a debate that has escalated to an epic battle in the last few years.

At the end of the day, I know I am a much better mother because I work. I have managed to figure out a way to work which feeds my soul and creative spirit, and helps provide for my family financially. At the same time I have a flexible enough career that allows me to be there for my children far more often that I did when I worked a corporate job. Having my daughter essentially tell me she wanted to follow in my footsteps was confirmation that I am doing the right thing for me and my family. I know it is not the right situation for everyone, and that is the point, follow your path and being a great mother will happen as a result.