Are Y'All Open?

For us in the Restaurant Industry, never has a day passed without a thousand different questions being thrown our way. Fielding these with knowledge and confidence is actually a huge part of our job. Some questions make perfect sense (“What kind of fish is used in the Fish & Chips?”), some are peculiar (“Do you know where the cows you get the ground beef from are raised?”), some make us inwardly groan (“Do you have soup?” they ask immediately after we tell them the Soup of the Day) and some questions (such as, “Do you have beer?”) make us just cock our heads slightly and groan.

But there is one question that never ceases to make me burst into hysterics every time it’s asked….

“ARE Y’ALL OPEN?”

Ok, sure, I know that not one of you just fell off your chair in a fit of laughter at reading those three words, but please understand. It isn’t the words themselves so much as the various circumstances in which they are presented.

I’ve been in the Industry in some capacity or another for 16 years now (WOW! 16years, really?!). Now, I have never worked at a place that shrouds in mystery whether or not they are open, but time and time again people seem to think this is Rocket Science. 

On a very small scale, people use the phone. We answer. They hear us say,“Thaaaaank you for calling the Iron Horse Tavern” over the din of music and jovial voices yet will still ask, “Are y’all open?” Please know a mere twist of the words and there is no joke here: “I was just checking if y’all are open” makes sense. But, “Are y’all open?” My answer: "Ummm, no, no we aren’t. We actually just broke in here and are illegally throwing a party. Wanna join us?”

Then we have people that arrive early. Okay, no biggie, I can understand that. What I don’t understand is how they don’t realize the err of their ways. They tug on the door, find it locked and walk onto the patio to try those doors, which they also find locked. “Hmmmm, something must be wrong here,” they must think, because their next step is to smoosh their faces up against the glass and pound with a fist until one of us finally stops what we are doing to go unlock the door and address them.

Sure enough, as we crack the door they brush right past us and as they are entering the restaurant to say, “Are y’all open?” It’s at that point that I regretfully inform them that we were not, in fact, keeping the doors locked until their arrival so that we may gaily swing them open and throw a ticker-tape parade celebrating that they're the first people through our doors that day.

My hat goes off to one particular guy about a year ago. He tried the front door, tried both patio doors. When those were found locked that ambitious little fella kept walking until he arrived at the back kitchen door. He entered, walked past Clint, who was most likely cutting veggies whilst simultaneously cutting a rug, passed Mike sitting in the office doing paper work, side-stepped the cook who was mopping the floors, detoured around the waitress who was taking down the chairs and arrived at the bar, where he found me cutting fruit.

"Are y’all open?"

"Yes, yes we are but we traditionally prefer our customers clean the restrooms before we allow them to order. You’ll find the cleaning supplies in there... Hop to it now.”

I know it can be hard to tell from the streets and we don’t have our hours posted, which can add to the mass confusion, so as a courtesy please allow me to post them now:

Mon.-Thurs. 11:30 a.m. to 1 a.m., Fri. 11:30 a.m. to 2 a.m., Sat. noon to 2 a.m. and Sun. noon to midnight. 

Now if you can’t remember this, I’ll offer you a few pointers: If you tug on the door and it opens, guess what, we ARE open. If you pull and it doesn’t open and you have to press your face against the glass or it seems you have to have some sort of Military Training to navigate the obstacle course that will get you to the bar then, no, we are not yet open. Try back later.